Well, here we go, again. Let's see; 5 Chiefs in 4 years? I think. 24 Directors in 22 years?
Heck, I can't remember the last 3 Directors' names.
Anyway...Hello to the new Chief!!
We have read your resume and Googled you until Google told us to quit. You probably even felt a shimmer while you were watching tv last night (LOL). Don't worry, it's routine. Your resume is very impressive, but so was Vicky Cutlip and Luigi's. That didn't turn out so well, as you probably have heard.
So far, every one says you are easy to get along with and not pretentious, at all. So, we will start by welcoming you with open minds and support of your position. However, the respect part will not come until it is earned. That has not been the case with the last 4 Chiefs, so we hope you understand our apprehension to jump on your wagon, just yet.
We hope that you realize what you have stepped in and what that nasty smell is. If all goes well, we can help you wash the funk off of your shoes. It's been on our shoes for the last 3-4 years and we've kinda gotten used to it :(
If you are coming into this job with a "go along to get along" attitude, you will fit right in and have no problems. However, if you think you are going to try to instill common sense and better policies, you better think again. You need to beware of the as* clown that sits upstairs (Lawson). He is one strange bird, as you will find out. But, Skeletor loves him; he dresses nice, speaks well, but that's it! He is truly a F'n weirdo. And that man child at the front of the hall (Philpott) he's a sneaky little sh*t. Be careful of him. He carries a knife (without a concealed permit) and will stick you right in the 'ol kidneys, as soon as you turn your back. He can't help it, he's a lawyer. Also, watch Luigi. Yes, you will be his boss, but remember, he turned down the position before you got it. He knows that to take that job would mean unemployment, within a year. Don't think we are kidding. Do your research on how many Chiefs & Directors we have gone through, in a short period of time. Luigi comes from the DEA and doesn't actually have any real police experience, other than growing a 70's porn mustache and trying to buy dope. He's never worked the street in uniform patrol. The Feds do things very different and he has brought that mentality to our agency. Be prepared for him to still "advise" the man child on every thing that you do. He chose to stay career service, so he will probably be here longer than you :(
Luigi has implemented things that counter productivity and self initiated field activities for the agents. His Ops Plan requirement for EVERYTHING we do is damaging. We have to do an ops plan to walk into a convenience store and buy dick dope (sex pills) off the shelf, while we stand in line behind a 10 year old kid buying candy. He says it's because he wants to keep us safe. Poor little kid doesn't realize the danger he's in, buying something off the shelf at a very public place. His DAS (daily activity sheets) requirements are only used to body slam whoever crosses his path, that day. (btw, he has a terrible temper and very foul mouth. You will see). It's funny how he says that the DAS is required by the Auditor's office; to make sure we are accountable for every minute of our work day. However, are the auditors completing a DAS for their work day? Is the Chief and Command Staff doing one, for theirs? How about the man child? Is he doing one? No to all. Only the field agents and inspectors. That doesn't make sense. I guess we are the only ones in State govt that are being audited for our daily activities. What about the 1200 employees at Northwood? Nope, not required by the very same IG auditors that said the agents/inspectors have to do it. Sounds like selective punishment. Someone should have the balls to stand up and call out the auditors. I would if I were at TCO.
You will find that we (field agents) are required to triple document everything we do. We have to write an initial report, then put the info on the "Martian Chronicles" and then put it on our DAS. Do you have any idea how much payroll (tax payer money) is wasted on having to do those things? We could understand it if there was no way for the admin to see and review our activities, but there is! It's called Versa. It's an amazing 84 million dollar software program that you can run reports on and see what an agent is doing, in real time. You can also run historical reports. It's really kinda cool. However, our "leaders" do not know how to use it. They really don't. When you get here, ask Luigi, or the man child, to open a case, or run a enforcement measurement performance report from a selected random office. They can't do it. It's there, but they want us to give it to them, in three different places so they do not have to be inconvenienced with learning the software. Really, they are just lazy as*es. Oh, and TCO has always been known for talking big and doing nothing. That's been around for 10 years, or more.
Let's see...what else can we tell you? Oh yeah, Colonel Green is utilized as a whipping boy and is despised by 90% of staff because of her demeanor. She sucks up to every Chief and they use her as the "bad guy". Her job is to pick apart every report, email, and anything that an agent does, purely for finding fault. Once she does, she runs to whoever is the flavor of the day and "reports" them. She is a civilian and acts like she is better than any agent/inspector. She feels she is above reproach, because she answers to only the Chief. Her looks apparently are getting her there. Luigi and her spend way to much time in her office, usually behind closed doors, so knock before you enter.
Remember, you work for politicians and civilians who wanna be cops. They are both dangerous to your new job.
Anyway, WELCOME :)
and good luck, really.
Heck, I can't remember the last 3 Directors' names.
Anyway...Hello to the new Chief!!
We have read your resume and Googled you until Google told us to quit. You probably even felt a shimmer while you were watching tv last night (LOL). Don't worry, it's routine. Your resume is very impressive, but so was Vicky Cutlip and Luigi's. That didn't turn out so well, as you probably have heard.
So far, every one says you are easy to get along with and not pretentious, at all. So, we will start by welcoming you with open minds and support of your position. However, the respect part will not come until it is earned. That has not been the case with the last 4 Chiefs, so we hope you understand our apprehension to jump on your wagon, just yet.
We hope that you realize what you have stepped in and what that nasty smell is. If all goes well, we can help you wash the funk off of your shoes. It's been on our shoes for the last 3-4 years and we've kinda gotten used to it :(
If you are coming into this job with a "go along to get along" attitude, you will fit right in and have no problems. However, if you think you are going to try to instill common sense and better policies, you better think again. You need to beware of the as* clown that sits upstairs (Lawson). He is one strange bird, as you will find out. But, Skeletor loves him; he dresses nice, speaks well, but that's it! He is truly a F'n weirdo. And that man child at the front of the hall (Philpott) he's a sneaky little sh*t. Be careful of him. He carries a knife (without a concealed permit) and will stick you right in the 'ol kidneys, as soon as you turn your back. He can't help it, he's a lawyer. Also, watch Luigi. Yes, you will be his boss, but remember, he turned down the position before you got it. He knows that to take that job would mean unemployment, within a year. Don't think we are kidding. Do your research on how many Chiefs & Directors we have gone through, in a short period of time. Luigi comes from the DEA and doesn't actually have any real police experience, other than growing a 70's porn mustache and trying to buy dope. He's never worked the street in uniform patrol. The Feds do things very different and he has brought that mentality to our agency. Be prepared for him to still "advise" the man child on every thing that you do. He chose to stay career service, so he will probably be here longer than you :(
Luigi has implemented things that counter productivity and self initiated field activities for the agents. His Ops Plan requirement for EVERYTHING we do is damaging. We have to do an ops plan to walk into a convenience store and buy dick dope (sex pills) off the shelf, while we stand in line behind a 10 year old kid buying candy. He says it's because he wants to keep us safe. Poor little kid doesn't realize the danger he's in, buying something off the shelf at a very public place. His DAS (daily activity sheets) requirements are only used to body slam whoever crosses his path, that day. (btw, he has a terrible temper and very foul mouth. You will see). It's funny how he says that the DAS is required by the Auditor's office; to make sure we are accountable for every minute of our work day. However, are the auditors completing a DAS for their work day? Is the Chief and Command Staff doing one, for theirs? How about the man child? Is he doing one? No to all. Only the field agents and inspectors. That doesn't make sense. I guess we are the only ones in State govt that are being audited for our daily activities. What about the 1200 employees at Northwood? Nope, not required by the very same IG auditors that said the agents/inspectors have to do it. Sounds like selective punishment. Someone should have the balls to stand up and call out the auditors. I would if I were at TCO.
You will find that we (field agents) are required to triple document everything we do. We have to write an initial report, then put the info on the "Martian Chronicles" and then put it on our DAS. Do you have any idea how much payroll (tax payer money) is wasted on having to do those things? We could understand it if there was no way for the admin to see and review our activities, but there is! It's called Versa. It's an amazing 84 million dollar software program that you can run reports on and see what an agent is doing, in real time. You can also run historical reports. It's really kinda cool. However, our "leaders" do not know how to use it. They really don't. When you get here, ask Luigi, or the man child, to open a case, or run a enforcement measurement performance report from a selected random office. They can't do it. It's there, but they want us to give it to them, in three different places so they do not have to be inconvenienced with learning the software. Really, they are just lazy as*es. Oh, and TCO has always been known for talking big and doing nothing. That's been around for 10 years, or more.
Let's see...what else can we tell you? Oh yeah, Colonel Green is utilized as a whipping boy and is despised by 90% of staff because of her demeanor. She sucks up to every Chief and they use her as the "bad guy". Her job is to pick apart every report, email, and anything that an agent does, purely for finding fault. Once she does, she runs to whoever is the flavor of the day and "reports" them. She is a civilian and acts like she is better than any agent/inspector. She feels she is above reproach, because she answers to only the Chief. Her looks apparently are getting her there. Luigi and her spend way to much time in her office, usually behind closed doors, so knock before you enter.
Remember, you work for politicians and civilians who wanna be cops. They are both dangerous to your new job.
Anyway, WELCOME :)
and good luck, really.